Tag Archives : Influencer Training

How to Connect with an Aging Parent

Dear David, My husband struggles with how to engage in conversation with his mother. Mom doesn’t get out much and spends a lot of time with what we consider negative news. When we are together, she shares her opinions as facts. Often sweeping generalizations,”Kids today don’t learn anything in school,” or, “No one . . [...]



The Return of the Rational—Separating Facts vs. Stories

Dear Joseph, Since the election, I’ve been noodling on one of the core competencies of Crucial Conversations: Separating facts from stories. We live in strange times where many people can no longer distinguish what is true vs. what is something they believe is true—seeing them as equivalents. How do you have a reasonable conversation with [...]

What to Say When People Break Boundaries

Dear Steve, I recently built and moved into my dream home. My partner’s daughter has four very unruly children who do not respect my boundaries. How do I have the crucial conversation I need to have, so both my partner and his daughter understand that the children need to be taught to respect others and [...]


Influencer Training

Creating Joy and Passion at Your Work Place

Question:– Dear VitalSmarts, I am struggling with the culture in my current organization. The goals set by management are ambiguous and seemingly meaningless. Performance feedback and “constructive criticism” are at first rare, then harsh and punitive. Morale is horrible. I dread going to work every morning! Everyone does. What can my colleagues and I do [...]

How to Motivate Others to Change – Change Anything

Q. Crucial Skills, When I tell my colleagues it’s time to improve our effectiveness, they get uptight about being told why they’re wrong and what to fix. It seems like they’re content to let standards slacken and inefficiencies run wild as long as they don’t have to hear about how much better we could be [...]

VItal SMarts Books